ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize