no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
