Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize