I met the friendliest cop last night
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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