He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
