This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize