I skipped work to stalk him.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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