well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
