well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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