just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
