? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
