Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You've changed since you got that strap on
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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