Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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