he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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