Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
