This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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