idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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