Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
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just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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