Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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