Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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