my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
