Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
