Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
