she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
