i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
