so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
