When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
