Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
COCAINE IS GR8
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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