I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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