hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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