My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
