If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
