im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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