Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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