I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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