Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
