someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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