Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
