I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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