You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
