I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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