So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
