It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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