Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
