dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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