therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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