is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cockslap morals
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
