What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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