My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
