if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
