I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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