Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
