i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
