at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
