I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think people are normalizing furries
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
