I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
