i will never coherently bang her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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