He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I understand Curling. That high.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
