I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
