I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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