I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
