She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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