there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
