I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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