I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
